written in the long, dark nights struggling to understand the why of it all…

ICU Haikus

You want to kill me

ICU psychosis screams

not funny from Mom.

Cure sugar cravings

see the diabetes toes

shrunken black, soon gone.

Day 7 psychosis

Day 39 necrosis

6 weeks non-stop fun.

_________________________

I have no honor

parking attendant is gone

I skip the drop box.

Maybe it’s karma

I’m cheap therefore we can’t leave

I’m sick of Mayo.

______________________________

Too many doctors

trailing schools of young fellows

learning on the job.

I cringe at fellows

who have no bedside manner

and say awful things.

Yes, you’re a doctor

so how did you miss the part,

“First, do no harm”?

Listen up Doogie

if you can’t show compassion

go work in a lab.

____________________________

At first I learned names

of the nurses and doctors

taking care of mom.

Back when I was told

“We work in core care teams here

It’s a great system”.

Too bad it’s a myth

so blame the economy

and no overtime.

I see how it works

shift changes mean new faces

who just met my mom.

Next time someone new

I refuse to get attached

You’ll be gone soon too.

____________________________

Where did the nurse go

I’m pissed I can’t find you NOW

my mom is crying.

Isn’t this your job?

Why the hell do you ask me

if this is normal?

I try to be nice

I don’t want to make you mad

you could hurt my mom.

_____________________________

You drive me crazy

every time I see you now

but you’re family.

I can’t tell you off

or I would be the bad guy

it would upset mom.

What is wrong with you?

I don’t know you anymore

and I don’t like you.

Well this can’t be good

crazy, crazy, everywhere

and I’m related

______________________________

Hugh Jackman showers

we’re watching Australia

I hit the rewind.

We need distraction

next up, Wolverine

Hugh Jackman naked.

I need new visuals

to replace the memory

of Mom’s half-gone foot.

__________________________

I see dead people

look around the waiting room

poor choices play out.

Excuses hollow

bad consequences follow

our genetics suck.

_____________________________

Finally, mom leaves

heart works, kidneys don’t, leg gone

horror story ends.

I dread the sequels

by those who don’t learn lessons

and refuse to change.

_________________________________

It’s been 12 long weeks

I would just as soon forget

I need my life back.

But it’s not the same

I can’t deny what I’ve seen

the future scares me.

_______________________________

I don’t like dramas

without happy endings

So what’s the lesson?

I need to believe

that there’s some point to all this

I don’t understand.

____________________________

I guess I’m stubborn

hate being told what to do

or worse, what I can’t.

So my wake-up call

had to shake me to the core

for me to listen.

Okay, I get it

time runs out to make choices

have to choose well NOW.